If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
