I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
