I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
