wanna go halves on a baby?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize