I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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