So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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