i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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