i permit you to call me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize