If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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