i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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