Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
