my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
