last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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