At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
whose parrot is this?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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