barbara walters just said penis...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
