i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
