the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
