marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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