I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so explain again why im purple
no
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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