Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you win again, gameday.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
