I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
