I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
