Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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