so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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