maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Randomize
