Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
