i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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