butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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