Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
