So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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