i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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