Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
