Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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