im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
two words: eviction party
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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