Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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