I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
