Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
