i love accidental penises.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
