You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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