Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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