I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize