You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
