It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
All I want is dick and wine.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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