i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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