Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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