talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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