My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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