I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
