Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
