I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
