I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
