I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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