i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
