census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
