Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
