Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
