i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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