god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
