Umm I'm too high to move.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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