Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i've created a new STD.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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