I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
