bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
