halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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