I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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