Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
